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'What are you doing in the fast lane?!!'

DEFINITION: n. A driver who ignores the rules of the road by driving very slowly (i.e. at the legal limit) in the fast lane. v. To strictly observe the "suggested" speed limits, even when using the fast lane.

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Verboticisms

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Egomotortist

Created by: verbherder

Pronunciation: ee-goh-moh-tawr-tist

Sentence: It was ten minutes to close at the only store in town when my baby's mama held up the last diaper in the house and announced that junior had suddenly developed an explosive case of diarrhea. I would have made it there and back with time to spare if not for an egomotortist in a Prius. When I returned without reinforcements, things went south down south. For the rest of the night I wished that junior could have spent just one minute in that guy's car.

Etymology: egotist + motorist + tortoise (in sound mostly)

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Slowffeur

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: slo fewer

Sentence: Archie drove his ancient Triumph convertible every day down the freeway to his appointments and errands. He was a slowffeur and believed his car lasted longer if he drove slower. Luckily he was very hard of hearing, so he missed all the honks he got from his fellow commuters in the fast lane. He believed that a safe speed was one that was exactly one half of the posted limit. He was finally pulled over one morning by the Highway Patrol. The officer naturally requested to see his license and insurance papers, to which Archie finally shouted: "Never needed either, since I never go over the limits. I don't need papers, I know how to drive!"

Etymology: Slow (not moving quickly; taking a comparatively long time) & Chauffeur (someone paid to drive a person in a car;to drive someone in a vehicle;a person who drives vehicles for a living)

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COMMENTS:

I think I rode in his taxi once. - Mustang, 2009-05-26: 06:42:00

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Lanepain

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: layn payn

Sentence: It never failed, thought Mario, just when I am in a hurray, I get stuck behind some lanepain. He feels that it is his duty to observe the posted limit, even though he is the only one in traffic to do so. You never see him when you are not in a hurray yourself...just when you need to get somewhere really quickly. Well, if this slug didn't move over soon, Mario knew he would have to take desperate action, even if he had to drive right over his car. Afterall, he was not going to be lanepained on this first lap and lose the entire Indy 500!

Etymology: lane (a way or road or a well-defined track or path,like in traffic) & pain (emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid or something or someone that causes trouble; a source of unhappiness or to cause emotional anguish or make miserable)

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COMMENTS:

hurry for mario! - stache, 2008-04-07: 08:21:00

Apt. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-07: 20:37:00

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Lescargo

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: les kar go

Sentence: When old Lester gets out the vintage car and drives on the highway, he drives slowly in the fast lane to the annoyance of all others. When they beep him, he slows down even further. All the women at the nursing home call him a lescargo. Because he understands no French, he thinks they mean he has less baggage and is more available for dates.

Etymology: Fr: L'Escargot (Snail) & Less Car go

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Routelout

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ROUT-lout

Sentence: Maggard was an absolute routelout, driving the routes and freeways at his own speed, gawking around at the countryside sightseeing and just absolutely oblivious to the traffic or the concerns of other drivers.

Etymology: Blend of 'route' (highway) and 'lout' (an awkward, stupid person; clumsy, ill-mannered boor; oaf)

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COMMENTS:

He's everywhere! - Nosila, 2009-05-26: 15:58:00

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Motortoise

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: mot - or - tus

Sentence: Elsie was a motortoise on the highway; she thought the passing lane was the lane you stayed in so everyone could pass you.

Etymology: motorist, tortoise (Belonging to any of several species of turtles that live strictly on land)

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COMMENTS:

Good one...she must be shell-shocked! - Nosila, 2009-05-26: 16:02:00

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Mamoover

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: ma-moo-ver

Sentence: Molly had to mamoover very carefully in the heavy traffic near her farm.

Etymology: A play on the word maneuver

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Drivelag

Created by: scarletzinc

Pronunciation: drive-lag

Sentence: He was driving at a speed of 37 km/h and we could feel that he was drivelagging.

Etymology: Drive-Lag [lagging]

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Veltar

Created by: tyler775

Pronunciation: /fil * tar/

Sentence: This veltar drives twenty miles per hour when the speed limit for this lane is sixty!

Etymology: *vel from latin prefix speed *tard from latin suffix slow

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Trafficinterruptus

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Traf - ik - in - tuh - RUHP - tuhs

Sentence: Irving once again found himself cursing the trafficinterruptus caused by two overly cautious drivers driving side by side taking up both lanes on the divided highway.

Etymology: Traffic and interruptus....latin for 'to interrupt'.

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COMMENTS:

Hehe! - purpleartichokes, 2008-04-07: 18:19:00

- arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 21:00:00

hmmm. My original comment was something like a chuckle and a wink, wink, nod, nod. I guess you can't put " - arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 21:02:00

lol, I'm using the comments here to learn about how and what not to put in comments here. Now, James, it dawns on my why you had to reformat my poem earlier. Ha! This makes me think of a definition for later... - arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 21:05:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-07: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by stache and Biscotti. Thank you stache and Biscotti. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-04-07: 17:40:00
A friend of mine always said, "Beware of old men in hats driving Buicks." I remember driving up the NJ Turnpike at 75MPH and pushing 80 in the right lane and being flashed by motorists thinking I was going too slow!

purpleartichokes - 2008-04-07: 18:03:00
My dad always said "Beware of men smoking cigars and driving station wagons." Wouldn't ya know, my first close call was with one of them?

logarithm - 2008-11-27: 11:18:00
Hehehe...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-26: 00:05:00
Today's definition was suggested by Biscotti. Thank you Biscotti. ~ James

PennonFurl - 2018-06-13: 19:02:00