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'What are you doing in the fast lane?!!'

DEFINITION: n. A driver who ignores the rules of the road by driving very slowly (i.e. at the legal limit) in the fast lane. v. To strictly observe the "suggested" speed limits, even when using the fast lane.

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Verboticisms

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Carstipate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: kahr-stuh-PEYT

Sentence: Whilst driving Bob slow, dribble-to -rule approach left a long line of carstipated drivers behind him.

Etymology: Blend of CAR & CONSTIPATE: prevent passage through; impede; crowd together

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COMMENTS:

I can just hear a traffic reporter saying "The highway is carstipated" instead of "congested". Love it! - Jamagra, 2008-04-07: 14:05:00

hate those traffic fumes - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-07: 16:46:00

Love it! Yep, a great word to describe a traffic jam. - purpleartichokes, 2008-04-07: 18:10:00

It's a natural! - arrrteest, 2008-04-07: 20:58:00

Bob, it makes me think you fuel up with prune juice! Great word...very binding! - Nosila, 2008-04-08: 01:49:00

love it! - Softbagel14, 2008-04-08: 23:38:00

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Roadtard

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: road-tard

Sentence: The line of traffic seem to stretch infinitely as the roadtard was trying to take the perfect profile picture of herself driving in the left lane.

Etymology: road+retard

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Slowffeur

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: slo fewer

Sentence: Archie drove his ancient Triumph convertible every day down the freeway to his appointments and errands. He was a slowffeur and believed his car lasted longer if he drove slower. Luckily he was very hard of hearing, so he missed all the honks he got from his fellow commuters in the fast lane. He believed that a safe speed was one that was exactly one half of the posted limit. He was finally pulled over one morning by the Highway Patrol. The officer naturally requested to see his license and insurance papers, to which Archie finally shouted: "Never needed either, since I never go over the limits. I don't need papers, I know how to drive!"

Etymology: Slow (not moving quickly; taking a comparatively long time) & Chauffeur (someone paid to drive a person in a car;to drive someone in a vehicle;a person who drives vehicles for a living)

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COMMENTS:

I think I rode in his taxi once. - Mustang, 2009-05-26: 06:42:00

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Lescargo

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: les kar go

Sentence: When old Lester gets out the vintage car and drives on the highway, he drives slowly in the fast lane to the annoyance of all others. When they beep him, he slows down even further. All the women at the nursing home call him a lescargo. Because he understands no French, he thinks they mean he has less baggage and is more available for dates.

Etymology: Fr: L'Escargot (Snail) & Less Car go

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Speedumbmeter

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: spee/dum/eater

Sentence: A speedumbmeter is too slow to drive.

Etymology: speedometer + dumb

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Petroloiter

Created by: catgrin

Pronunciation: pe-tro-loi-ter

Sentence: People tend to petroloiter on Sundays. This causes weekend commuters no end of frustration!

Etymology: petrol + loiter

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Flowpoke

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: flow-poke

Sentence: The flowpoke ignored the stream of enraged drivers behind her and continued to chat with her passenger, driving for several miles in the passing lane with her turn signal blinking oblivious to the horns and salutes from her fellow drivers.

Etymology: Flow: continuity of movement as in a stream + poke: take more time than necessary; dawdle (wordplay on slowpoke)

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COMMENTS:

Would also apply to dimwitted cowboy. Excellent word! - Mustang, 2009-05-26: 06:43:00

Good word and all too many of them, on the road...love the ones who eat, talk on a cell and apply make-up simultaneously as well! - Nosila, 2009-05-26: 16:05:00

Great word.... - mweinmann, 2009-05-27: 09:47:00

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Egomotortist

Created by: verbherder

Pronunciation: ee-goh-moh-tawr-tist

Sentence: It was ten minutes to close at the only store in town when my baby's mama held up the last diaper in the house and announced that junior had suddenly developed an explosive case of diarrhea. I would have made it there and back with time to spare if not for an egomotortist in a Prius. When I returned without reinforcements, things went south down south. For the rest of the night I wished that junior could have spent just one minute in that guy's car.

Etymology: egotist + motorist + tortoise (in sound mostly)

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Slomomotorist

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: slōmōmōtərist

Sentence: It never fails, whenever Jim is in a hurry he falls in behind a slomomotorist. He should have known better this time. As he approached this virtual speed bump he saw all the classic signs, the over-sized sedan of dark bland color, the omnipresent turn signal, the silhouette of a fedora and white knuckles. The only thing that was more annoying was the guy in the next lane who felt it was his job to match the speed of the one in front of him effectively blocking him in.

Etymology: slow-motion (action appears slower than in real life) + motorist (the driver of an automobile)

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Fastlamer

Created by: davi8992

Pronunciation:

Sentence: I've got to pass this fastlamer.

Etymology: From "fast" denoting which lane of traffic and "lamer" as in loser.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-07: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by stache and Biscotti. Thank you stache and Biscotti. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-04-07: 17:40:00
A friend of mine always said, "Beware of old men in hats driving Buicks." I remember driving up the NJ Turnpike at 75MPH and pushing 80 in the right lane and being flashed by motorists thinking I was going too slow!

purpleartichokes - 2008-04-07: 18:03:00
My dad always said "Beware of men smoking cigars and driving station wagons." Wouldn't ya know, my first close call was with one of them?

logarithm - 2008-11-27: 11:18:00
Hehehe...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-26: 00:05:00
Today's definition was suggested by Biscotti. Thank you Biscotti. ~ James

PennonFurl - 2018-06-13: 19:02:00