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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Verboticisms

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Pissedmas

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: piss d niss

Sentence: he was on the pissedness diet. driink everything. Eat only solpadeine.

Etymology: christmas, pissed

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Christmaskew

Created by: Ransom

Pronunciation: kris-ma-SKYOO

Sentence: After countless hours of tilting and turning, Stan was still unable to break the tree's christmaskew appearance.

Etymology: Christmas + askew

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Slantaflaws

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: slant-a-flaws

Sentence: Finding a tree without slantaflaws, one that is perfect and straight, is hard when so many need slantabras to keep them from falling prostrate. We need to find one with a slantaclause -- one that comes with a guarantee that if our tree gets the slantablahs we can come and exchange it for free.

Etymology: slant: incline or bend from a vertical position + flaw: an imperfection

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Everlean

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: evərlēn

Sentence: Horace is no good at picking Christmas trees. No matter how good it looked in the lot, every tree he took home was an everlean. Somewhere between the tree lot and home the trunk would develop a bend. A few years ago he thought he could dupe the fates by buying an artificial tree. No such luck. Somehow it was damaged in transit and it too refused to stand upright.

Etymology: ever (at all times; always)+ lean (be in or move into a sloping position)

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COMMENTS:

But my dad's name isn't Horace. He was also great at finding trees with major bare spots. - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-15: 04:49:00

Nice one! My vote #1 for you. - logarithm, 2008-12-15: 09:34:00

Nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:06:00

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Ornapisa

Korinne

Created by: Korinne

Pronunciation: Orna-pee-sa

Sentence: Helen was frustrated because the normally upright tree ornaments now looked like ornapisas.

Etymology: Ornaments + Leaning Tower of Pisa

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Tiltatree

Created by: chaiandallthatjazz

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Mistlewoe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mis il wo

Sentence: When Ronnie decorates for Christmas, he always hangs up the mistletoe in the hopes that the pretty girls will kiss him under it. Sadly, he has never succeeded,he gets mistlewoe instead, because he hangs it from his belt buckle...

Etymology: Mistletoe (plant Druids worshipped and at Christmas today, if hung on door frame, the people under it must kiss)& Woe (misery, sadness)

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Yulersdroop

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: YOOL-uhs-droop

Sentence: It was a sad case of yulersdroop as Bob's Christmas tree lay limp, in the sagging silence of the night, in a gloomy, groggy mistlethroe of dejected detumescence

Etymology: Yule, n. [OE. yol, [yogh]ol, AS. ge['o]l; akin to ge['o]la December or January, Icel. j[=o]l Yule, Ylir the name of a winter month, Sw. jul Christmas, Dan. juul, Goth. jiuleis November or December. Cf. Jolly.] Christmas or Christmastide; the feast of the Nativity of our Savior. Anglo-Saxons' name for a two-month midwinter season corresponding to Roman December and January. DROOP: sagging, sinking, bending, hanging down, as fro weakness or lack of support.

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COMMENTS:

sad indeed - perhaps a little gin in the water dish would perk it up - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-15: 11:45:00

It was pining for the fjords of Norway. - Nosila, 2008-12-15: 19:57:00

metrohumanx Finland Finland Finland- The country where I long to be..... - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 19:35:00

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Gyreveload

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: jai-REV-uhl-ode...(gyrevelers, gyreveloaded)

Sentence: Mike and Christie thought they'd opt for a "real" Christmas tree this year, so they drove out to the countryside and purchased one from a reputable dealer who had set up shop in the parking lot of a defunct diner. When unwrapped, the tree turned out to be a real GYREVELOAD...crooked, unstable and surrounded by a festive brown heap of highly flammable droppings...much like the guy in the parking lot. It would take a kilo of fruitcake and a few litres of liberally spiked eggnog to get GYREVELOADED this special evening. Ho Ho Ho :)

Etymology: GYRate+rEVELry+lOAD=GYREVELOAD....GYRATE: revolve quickly and repeatedly around one's own axis,to oscillate with a circular or spiral motion; French-1856.....REVELRY:noisy partying or merrymaking; 15th century.....LOAD:the quantity that can be carried at one time by a specified means,a mass or weight supported by something,something that weighs down the mind or spirits,an intoxicating amount of liquor drunk; Middle English lod, from Old English lād support, carrying-12th century

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:03:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James