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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Askyule

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /əˈskjul/ /uh-SKYOOL/

Sentence: One might think that it would make more sense to put the crown of candles on the head of an adult, but anyone who's ever been to a Santa Lucia celebration knows that the children are by far the least askyule people in the house.

Etymology: From askew + yule

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COMMENTS:

tilted tree ... or tilted me ... after one egg nog too many ... any tilted christmas thing ... I like the word and the meaning! - silveryaspen, 2007-12-13: 14:34:00

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Orneryment

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: awr-nuh-ree-muh nt

Sentence: Sometimes you just don't want to deal with those orneryments. First you can't find the hooks, then the loop that the hooks attach to come out. Once you find the perfect spot, it's too heavy for the branch.

Etymology: Ornery: stubborn. + Ornament: an accessory, article, or detail used to beautify the appearance of something to which it is added or of which it is a part.

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Slantacaused

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /slahn'-tuh-kawzd/

Sentence: The Christmas tree was hopelessly slantacaused, looking like it was about to fallalalala, but we soon had bigger problems to worry about when Uncle Frank suddenly swooned, hiccupped, and dropped like a missletoe, cracking his Eggnoggin on the mantel.

Etymology: slant - at an oblique angle; aslant (from Middle English, slenten) + Santa-claus (from Dutch, Sinterklaas) + cause[d] - the reason for a condition or result (from Latin, causa)

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COMMENTS:

Perhaps Uncle Frank, after the knock on his 'eggnoggin' will get mental blocks for Christmas! Good word and, as always, thorough etymology! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 05:06:00

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Mistlewoe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mis il wo

Sentence: When Ronnie decorates for Christmas, he always hangs up the mistletoe in the hopes that the pretty girls will kiss him under it. Sadly, he has never succeeded,he gets mistlewoe instead, because he hangs it from his belt buckle...

Etymology: Mistletoe (plant Druids worshipped and at Christmas today, if hung on door frame, the people under it must kiss)& Woe (misery, sadness)

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Fallsamfir

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: fall-some-fur

Sentence: We've tried three different tree stands, placing all the ornaments on one side to balance the weight and even drilling a few branches into the wall but the darned tree keeps falling over; the Christmas tree that Lenny brought home is a genuine fallsam fir.

Etymology: balsam fir; evergreen tree traditionally used as a Christmas Tree + fall

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Kinda like "Folsam Prison Blues", nay? - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:06:00

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Duglistfir

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dug list fur

Sentence: The town fathers had ordered a large evergreen to be planted in the main square, so that it may be decorated each Christmas Season as the "First Tree". A huge Douglas Fir had been imported from the West and although healthy and full, it had a definite lean to it. They nicknamed it the DuglistFir. At first people laughed at the Leaning Tree, but miraculously on Christmas Eve it had straightened out and stood erect. The people were amazed until they realized that this change was inevitable. The town in question was not called Viagra Falls for nothing!

Etymology: Dug (created by digging); List (lean or tilt to one side) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees of the genus Abies; chiefly of upland areas, popular as a Christmas Tree)and word play on Douglas Fir (tall evergreen timber tree of western North America having resinous wood and short needles)

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Floornament

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: flor/na/ment

Sentence: When we headed off to bed Christmas Eve our beautiful woodland tree was bedecked in the finest glass ornaments. Alas, Christmas morning the tree was bare and the carpet was littered with broken floornaments.

Etymology: ornament + floor

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COMMENTS:

Excellent word with wider application! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 17:48:00

Love it Jabber! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:28:00

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Blitzened

Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: blits + end

Sentence: I got totally blitzened at the staff Chistmas party, and knocked the full punch bowl into the boss's wife's lap, during my karaoke rendition of O Holy Night.

Etymology: drunk + the reindeer harnessed beside Donder

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COMMENTS:

well you did 'fall on your knees' but did you 'hear the angel voices'? - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-10: 16:16:00

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Treerectiledysfunkshun

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Tree-Rec-Tile-DIS-FUNK-SHUN

Sentence: The poor sap had a it bad. The treerectiledysfunkshun had developed over night and left us all feeling a bit droopy.

Etymology: Erection and Viagara and Limpy Poppa

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COMMENTS:

Dude, mine was SOOOO first! - idavecook, 2007-12-10: 18:13:00

Hehe! Guess you just Christmissed it! Hope ya don't feel like a recycled fruitcake. Merry everything idave! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:35:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James