Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kriss sidd funk shun

Sentence: It was a case of "hohoho to nohoho as the tree suffered from the annual bout of Chrisdisfunction, due to the self inoculation by the erector against the cold by hipflask as he queued in the snow for the aforementioned tree.

Etymology: christmas, disfunction

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Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: yool-tip

Sentence: Harry had too much egg nog that night and inconspicuously disappeared. They gathered over to the washroom door and peaked in. He had yuletipped with his head face down in the toilet.

Etymology: Yuletide (pertaining to the Christmas season) + tip (as in slope, slant, topple)

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Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: skrA-kuh-wif

Sentence: No matter how much Anne tried, she could not make the scrackerwhiff angel sit straight atop the tree. Eventually Anne gave up and turned to the sherry, in an attempt to get scrackerwhiffy herself.

Etymology: Cracker + Skew-whiff

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: list ill to

Sentence: When Yul & Holly decorated their apartment for Christmas, they had trouble getting anything to hang up straight. They ended up calling one particular thing the listletoe because it meant you had to lean into your partner to get a better kiss. Hmm, maybe it was not such a bad idea...and maybe putting some Viagra in the tree water might spruce up their Christmas Tree!

Etymology: List (to lean to one side) & Mistletoe (Old World parasitic shrub having branching greenish stems with leathery leaves and waxy white glutinous berries; the traditional mistletoe of Christmas, which people have to kiss each other when under it)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Created by: mamamia

Pronunciation: til-ti-tis

Sentence: After countless attempts to get the xmas tree to stand upright, Kevin then realized he had been sold a tree that suffered from tiltitis.

Etymology: tilt-derived from the word tilt(having its original meaning) and itis usually you can find at the end of certain medical conditions.

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COMMENTS:

Damn, i hope this makes it to the b! - mamamia, 2008-12-15: 19:36:00

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Tree-Rec-Tile-DIS-FUNK-SHUN

Sentence: The poor sap had a it bad. The treerectiledysfunkshun had developed over night and left us all feeling a bit droopy.

Etymology: Erection and Viagara and Limpy Poppa

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COMMENTS:

Dude, mine was SOOOO first! - idavecook, 2007-12-10: 18:13:00

Hehe! Guess you just Christmissed it! Hope ya don't feel like a recycled fruitcake. Merry everything idave! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:35:00

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Created by: jermainechambers44

Pronunciation: e-rec-tree-dis-funk-tion

Sentence: Although those little blue pills solved his little problem,they had nothing to deal with the erectreedisfuntion that plagued the tree decorating party for years.

Etymology: Erect-(to stand staight up)+Tree-(large plant life form)+Dysfuntion-(to not work properly)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kris/mas/kyuh/leyt/ed

Sentence: During our annual neigbourhood caroling, John's six eggnog and rum completely christmasculated him and it took two carolers to drag him around from house to house.

Etymology: Christmas + emasculated (to be deprived of strength, or vigor; to be weakened) To deprive of strength or vigor; weaken

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