Verboticisms

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: awr-nuh-ree-muh nt

Sentence: Sometimes you just don't want to deal with those orneryments. First you can't find the hooks, then the loop that the hooks attach to come out. Once you find the perfect spot, it's too heavy for the branch.

Etymology: Ornery: stubborn. + Ornament: an accessory, article, or detail used to beautify the appearance of something to which it is added or of which it is a part.

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: yool-EE-bree-eyt

Sentence: At first, Bob yulebriated with a sublime sparkle; only, in the end, to stumble and tumble into a 'silent night' of mistlethroes and noelethargy.

Etymology: YULE (OE: Christmas) & EBRIATE: to sparkle with a emotion + to make or be drunk - and all its' permutations, esp staying upright.

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Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: blits + end

Sentence: I got totally blitzened at the staff Chistmas party, and knocked the full punch bowl into the boss's wife's lap, during my karaoke rendition of O Holy Night.

Etymology: drunk + the reindeer harnessed beside Donder

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COMMENTS:

well you did 'fall on your knees' but did you 'hear the angel voices'? - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-10: 16:16:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: cockedlymerry ... kok-ed-lee-mer-ree

Sentence: My cockedlymerry family put up a cockedly merry tree.

Etymology: cockedlymerry: cocked meaning tilted or at an angle. ly meaning like. merry meaning happy like you get during the Christmas holidays.

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: em/bell/ish/bent

Sentence: The decorations on our tree always look like embellishbents.

Etymology: embellishment + bent

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: slant-a-flaws

Sentence: Finding a tree without slantaflaws, one that is perfect and straight, is hard when so many need slantabras to keep them from falling prostrate. We need to find one with a slantaclause -- one that comes with a guarantee that if our tree gets the slantablahs we can come and exchange it for free.

Etymology: slant: incline or bend from a vertical position + flaw: an imperfection

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Tree-Rec-Tile-DIS-FUNK-SHUN

Sentence: The poor sap had a it bad. The treerectiledysfunkshun had developed over night and left us all feeling a bit droopy.

Etymology: Erection and Viagara and Limpy Poppa

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COMMENTS:

Dude, mine was SOOOO first! - idavecook, 2007-12-10: 18:13:00

Hehe! Guess you just Christmissed it! Hope ya don't feel like a recycled fruitcake. Merry everything idave! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:35:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: evərlēn

Sentence: Horace is no good at picking Christmas trees. No matter how good it looked in the lot, every tree he took home was an everlean. Somewhere between the tree lot and home the trunk would develop a bend. A few years ago he thought he could dupe the fates by buying an artificial tree. No such luck. Somehow it was damaged in transit and it too refused to stand upright.

Etymology: ever (at all times; always)+ lean (be in or move into a sloping position)

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COMMENTS:

But my dad's name isn't Horace. He was also great at finding trees with major bare spots. - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-15: 04:49:00

Nice one! My vote #1 for you. - logarithm, 2008-12-15: 09:34:00

Nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:06:00

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