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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Duglistfir

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dug list fur

Sentence: The town fathers had ordered a large evergreen to be planted in the main square, so that it may be decorated each Christmas Season as the "First Tree". A huge Douglas Fir had been imported from the West and although healthy and full, it had a definite lean to it. They nicknamed it the DuglistFir. At first people laughed at the Leaning Tree, but miraculously on Christmas Eve it had straightened out and stood erect. The people were amazed until they realized that this change was inevitable. The town in question was not called Viagra Falls for nothing!

Etymology: Dug (created by digging); List (lean or tilt to one side) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees of the genus Abies; chiefly of upland areas, popular as a Christmas Tree)and word play on Douglas Fir (tall evergreen timber tree of western North America having resinous wood and short needles)

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Topsyfirtree

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Top-see-furr-tree

Sentence: It as the same every year, as soon as the last bauble was hung on the branch the whole thing went topsyfirtree. Julia decided next year she would forget the tree and decorate the cactus instead.

Etymology: Play on topsyturvy(a word used to describe something that leans or topples

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COMMENTS:

excellent - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-15: 11:43:00

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Slantaflaws

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: slant-a-flaws

Sentence: Finding a tree without slantaflaws, one that is perfect and straight, is hard when so many need slantabras to keep them from falling prostrate. We need to find one with a slantaclause -- one that comes with a guarantee that if our tree gets the slantablahs we can come and exchange it for free.

Etymology: slant: incline or bend from a vertical position + flaw: an imperfection

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Yulean

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Yule-een

Sentence: With merry songsters crouding tight, festive tinsel left and right, the christmas spirit shining bright, well lit by festive table-lights. Mulled wine and eggnog warm and sweet, keeps blood flowing to your feet, but if you much indulge, you'll bulge, and droop with festive meats and treats. You'll cant, careen, recline and lean. In festive repose, you'll be yulean.

Etymology: Yule - of the older Yuletide solstice celebration now encumbered with modern chrisisitudes. Lean - to share one's weight with an object or person, cant, careen or recline. Herculean - descriptive of the large amount of effort put into festoonery, jollity and family gatherings at christmas. Elan - impetuous ardour, like that demonstrated by over-eggnogged carollers and others similarly afflicted with Yulean droopishness.

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COMMENTS:

You live, Yulean :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:51:00

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Scrackerwhiff

Carla

Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: skrA-kuh-wif

Sentence: No matter how much Anne tried, she could not make the scrackerwhiff angel sit straight atop the tree. Eventually Anne gave up and turned to the sherry, in an attempt to get scrackerwhiffy herself.

Etymology: Cracker + Skew-whiff

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Crashkringle

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: krash-kring-guhl

Sentence: The rum to egg nog ratio was a bit askew which led to many folks ending the evening crashkringling face first on to various snowbanks across the city.

Etymology: crash + kringle (as in kris kringle)

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COMMENTS:

brilliant! - galwaywegian, 2007-12-10: 10:00:00

Indeed it is! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 17:42:00

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Gyreveload

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: jai-REV-uhl-ode...(gyrevelers, gyreveloaded)

Sentence: Mike and Christie thought they'd opt for a "real" Christmas tree this year, so they drove out to the countryside and purchased one from a reputable dealer who had set up shop in the parking lot of a defunct diner. When unwrapped, the tree turned out to be a real GYREVELOAD...crooked, unstable and surrounded by a festive brown heap of highly flammable droppings...much like the guy in the parking lot. It would take a kilo of fruitcake and a few litres of liberally spiked eggnog to get GYREVELOADED this special evening. Ho Ho Ho :)

Etymology: GYRate+rEVELry+lOAD=GYREVELOAD....GYRATE: revolve quickly and repeatedly around one's own axis,to oscillate with a circular or spiral motion; French-1856.....REVELRY:noisy partying or merrymaking; 15th century.....LOAD:the quantity that can be carried at one time by a specified means,a mass or weight supported by something,something that weighs down the mind or spirits,an intoxicating amount of liquor drunk; Middle English lod, from Old English lād support, carrying-12th century

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:03:00

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Pissedmas

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: piss d niss

Sentence: he was on the pissedness diet. driink everything. Eat only solpadeine.

Etymology: christmas, pissed

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Slanta

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: slantə

Sentence: Tim is full of the Christmas spirit. More accurately he is full of Christmas spirits. He is a regular Slanta. Upright is not in his current skill set. Another cup of nog and it could be a case of Slanta Crawls.

Etymology: slant (slope or lean in a particular direction) + Santa (an imaginary figure said to bring presents for children on Christmas)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James