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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Carollapse

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: carol laps

Sentence: The choristers set out at 7.00pm with their candles erect, songsheets aligned and vestments spick and span. As they wassailed their way through the village streets sampling the Christmas cheer, their silent night got louder and louder, the shepherds washed their socks by night until goo kin wenwenwenceslashshsh looged out. It was a complete carollapse.

Etymology: carol + collapse

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Garleaned

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: gar leand

Sentence: Sparkling soda, laced with good cheer, gave everyone twinkling red eyes, shining red noses, and tipsy walks, making everyone slightly sinclined. As they swayed around the room, their arms garleaned around everyone.

Etymology: GARLAND, LEANED. GARLAND - a round, circular Christmas decoration that is hung over. LEANED - tilted, listed, unable to stay upright.

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COMMENTS:

I was swayed by the sparkling soda...seconds? - Mustang, 2008-12-15: 08:39:00

lovely visual - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-15: 11:41:00

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Orneryment

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: awr-nuh-ree-muh nt

Sentence: Sometimes you just don't want to deal with those orneryments. First you can't find the hooks, then the loop that the hooks attach to come out. Once you find the perfect spot, it's too heavy for the branch.

Etymology: Ornery: stubborn. + Ornament: an accessory, article, or detail used to beautify the appearance of something to which it is added or of which it is a part.

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Christmasculated

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kris/mas/kyuh/leyt/ed

Sentence: During our annual neigbourhood caroling, John's six eggnog and rum completely christmasculated him and it took two carolers to drag him around from house to house.

Etymology: Christmas + emasculated (to be deprived of strength, or vigor; to be weakened) To deprive of strength or vigor; weaken

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Duglistfir

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dug list fur

Sentence: The town fathers had ordered a large evergreen to be planted in the main square, so that it may be decorated each Christmas Season as the "First Tree". A huge Douglas Fir had been imported from the West and although healthy and full, it had a definite lean to it. They nicknamed it the DuglistFir. At first people laughed at the Leaning Tree, but miraculously on Christmas Eve it had straightened out and stood erect. The people were amazed until they realized that this change was inevitable. The town in question was not called Viagra Falls for nothing!

Etymology: Dug (created by digging); List (lean or tilt to one side) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees of the genus Abies; chiefly of upland areas, popular as a Christmas Tree)and word play on Douglas Fir (tall evergreen timber tree of western North America having resinous wood and short needles)

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Yulean

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Yule-een

Sentence: With merry songsters crouding tight, festive tinsel left and right, the christmas spirit shining bright, well lit by festive table-lights. Mulled wine and eggnog warm and sweet, keeps blood flowing to your feet, but if you much indulge, you'll bulge, and droop with festive meats and treats. You'll cant, careen, recline and lean. In festive repose, you'll be yulean.

Etymology: Yule - of the older Yuletide solstice celebration now encumbered with modern chrisisitudes. Lean - to share one's weight with an object or person, cant, careen or recline. Herculean - descriptive of the large amount of effort put into festoonery, jollity and family gatherings at christmas. Elan - impetuous ardour, like that demonstrated by over-eggnogged carollers and others similarly afflicted with Yulean droopishness.

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COMMENTS:

You live, Yulean :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:51:00

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Tipsytree

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: tip - see - tree

Sentence: Marge was not sure if it was because she had been drinking for several hours or whether the tree Scott had brought home was actually leaning. The eggnog had certainly gone to her head but she kept thinking they were going to have a tipsytree this year.

Etymology: Tips (leans or topples)and Tipsy (unstable and prone to tip as if intoxicated) + Tree

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Yulebriate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: yool-EE-bree-eyt

Sentence: At first, Bob yulebriated with a sublime sparkle; only, in the end, to stumble and tumble into a 'silent night' of mistlethroes and noelethargy.

Etymology: YULE (OE: Christmas) & EBRIATE: to sparkle with a emotion + to make or be drunk - and all its' permutations, esp staying upright.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James