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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Fallsamfir

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: fall-some-fur

Sentence: We've tried three different tree stands, placing all the ornaments on one side to balance the weight and even drilling a few branches into the wall but the darned tree keeps falling over; the Christmas tree that Lenny brought home is a genuine fallsam fir.

Etymology: balsam fir; evergreen tree traditionally used as a Christmas Tree + fall

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Kinda like "Folsam Prison Blues", nay? - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:06:00

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Chrisdisfunction

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kriss sidd funk shun

Sentence: It was a case of "hohoho to nohoho as the tree suffered from the annual bout of Chrisdisfunction, due to the self inoculation by the erector against the cold by hipflask as he queued in the snow for the aforementioned tree.

Etymology: christmas, disfunction

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Holidaze

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (n.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (v. intr.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (adj.)hŏl'ĭ-dāzd'

Sentence: My Uncle Arlen spends most every Christmas holidazed on cheap wine and a lifetime of regret.

Etymology: holi[day] + daze(d)

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COMMENTS:

I know this was an obvious one, but I couldn't resist. - milorush, 2007-12-10: 13:47:00

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Toemistle

apolloedge

Created by: apolloedge

Pronunciation: toe missyl

Sentence: It was scary only for a moment when Bob was hit in the head with one of his mother-in-law's toemistles, but the ones that missed their target looked fabulous in the odd places they landed. Everyone loved it so much that the toemistle became our most cherished Christmas tradition.

Etymology: toe: big digit of the foot + missile: weapon projected to hit a distant target

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Christmaskew

Created by: Ransom

Pronunciation: kris-ma-SKYOO

Sentence: After countless hours of tilting and turning, Stan was still unable to break the tree's christmaskew appearance.

Etymology: Christmas + askew

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Cheerlapidated

Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: cheer lappy dated

Sentence: Try as they might, Jenny and James could not get the old tree to stand upright. It had seen them through many a festive season, but it was time to retire the cheerlapidated old thing.

Etymology: Cheer: as in, Christmas Cheer. Delapidated: run down, worn out, etc.

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COMMENTS:

Beauty Newk. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:07:00

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Treerectiledysfunkshun

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Tree-Rec-Tile-DIS-FUNK-SHUN

Sentence: The poor sap had a it bad. The treerectiledysfunkshun had developed over night and left us all feeling a bit droopy.

Etymology: Erection and Viagara and Limpy Poppa

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COMMENTS:

Dude, mine was SOOOO first! - idavecook, 2007-12-10: 18:13:00

Hehe! Guess you just Christmissed it! Hope ya don't feel like a recycled fruitcake. Merry everything idave! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:35:00

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Tannenbombed

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tah-nuh n-bomd

Sentence: Jerry could not remember the words to "Oh Cristmas Tree" because he was completely tannenbombed.

Etymology: Tannenbaum (Christmas Tree) + bombed (completely intoxicated; drunk)

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Scrackerwhiff

Carla

Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: skrA-kuh-wif

Sentence: No matter how much Anne tried, she could not make the scrackerwhiff angel sit straight atop the tree. Eventually Anne gave up and turned to the sherry, in an attempt to get scrackerwhiffy herself.

Etymology: Cracker + Skew-whiff

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James