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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Verboticisms

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Blitzened

Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: blits + end

Sentence: I got totally blitzened at the staff Chistmas party, and knocked the full punch bowl into the boss's wife's lap, during my karaoke rendition of O Holy Night.

Etymology: drunk + the reindeer harnessed beside Donder

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COMMENTS:

well you did 'fall on your knees' but did you 'hear the angel voices'? - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-10: 16:16:00

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Cheerleaner

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: cheer - leen - ur

Sentence: Every year, the Moose Lodge got the guys together and went carolling around the community. It was quite festive and always got Murray in the spirit of things. This year, he was the cheerleaner of the group as he made the mistake of "having a few" with his buddies first.

Etymology: cheer (source of joy or happiness as in "holiday cheer).... lean (To bend or slant away from the vertical). Also a play on the word cheerleader (one who leads cheers)....

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COMMENTS:

apolloedge Perfect! - apolloedge, 2008-12-15: 22:15:00

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Fallsamfir

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: fall-some-fur

Sentence: We've tried three different tree stands, placing all the ornaments on one side to balance the weight and even drilling a few branches into the wall but the darned tree keeps falling over; the Christmas tree that Lenny brought home is a genuine fallsam fir.

Etymology: balsam fir; evergreen tree traditionally used as a Christmas Tree + fall

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Kinda like "Folsam Prison Blues", nay? - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:06:00

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Mistlewoe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mis il wo

Sentence: When Ronnie decorates for Christmas, he always hangs up the mistletoe in the hopes that the pretty girls will kiss him under it. Sadly, he has never succeeded,he gets mistlewoe instead, because he hangs it from his belt buckle...

Etymology: Mistletoe (plant Druids worshipped and at Christmas today, if hung on door frame, the people under it must kiss)& Woe (misery, sadness)

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Tannenbum

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: taninbəm

Sentence: No matter what it looks like in the lot, no matter how many ways he inspects them, Charlie*s yearly choice of a Christmas tree turns out to be a tannenbum slouching in the corner like an elf who*s had too much egg nog. Even the ornaments seem to droop on the tree rather than hang proudly.

Etymology: tannenbaum (German for fir tree/Christmas tree) + bum (a lazy or worthless person)

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Christmess

Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: 'kris mes

Sentence: Look at that tree. What a Christmess! Say, you're not looking too well either. Better take a break, or you might Christmess before you know it.

Etymology: Christ + mess, as in "Christ, what a mess." Christmas, as in "The relatives are over and the kids are crazy. Christ, what a mess."

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Yulean

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Yule-een

Sentence: With merry songsters crouding tight, festive tinsel left and right, the christmas spirit shining bright, well lit by festive table-lights. Mulled wine and eggnog warm and sweet, keeps blood flowing to your feet, but if you much indulge, you'll bulge, and droop with festive meats and treats. You'll cant, careen, recline and lean. In festive repose, you'll be yulean.

Etymology: Yule - of the older Yuletide solstice celebration now encumbered with modern chrisisitudes. Lean - to share one's weight with an object or person, cant, careen or recline. Herculean - descriptive of the large amount of effort put into festoonery, jollity and family gatherings at christmas. Elan - impetuous ardour, like that demonstrated by over-eggnogged carollers and others similarly afflicted with Yulean droopishness.

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COMMENTS:

You live, Yulean :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:51:00

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Treerectiledysfunkshun

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Tree-Rec-Tile-DIS-FUNK-SHUN

Sentence: The poor sap had a it bad. The treerectiledysfunkshun had developed over night and left us all feeling a bit droopy.

Etymology: Erection and Viagara and Limpy Poppa

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COMMENTS:

Dude, mine was SOOOO first! - idavecook, 2007-12-10: 18:13:00

Hehe! Guess you just Christmissed it! Hope ya don't feel like a recycled fruitcake. Merry everything idave! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:35:00

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Cockedlymerry

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: cockedlymerry ... kok-ed-lee-mer-ree

Sentence: My cockedlymerry family put up a cockedly merry tree.

Etymology: cockedlymerry: cocked meaning tilted or at an angle. ly meaning like. merry meaning happy like you get during the Christmas holidays.

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James