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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Toemistle

apolloedge

Created by: apolloedge

Pronunciation: toe missyl

Sentence: It was scary only for a moment when Bob was hit in the head with one of his mother-in-law's toemistles, but the ones that missed their target looked fabulous in the odd places they landed. Everyone loved it so much that the toemistle became our most cherished Christmas tradition.

Etymology: toe: big digit of the foot + missile: weapon projected to hit a distant target

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Garleaned

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: gar leand

Sentence: Sparkling soda, laced with good cheer, gave everyone twinkling red eyes, shining red noses, and tipsy walks, making everyone slightly sinclined. As they swayed around the room, their arms garleaned around everyone.

Etymology: GARLAND, LEANED. GARLAND - a round, circular Christmas decoration that is hung over. LEANED - tilted, listed, unable to stay upright.

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COMMENTS:

I was swayed by the sparkling soda...seconds? - Mustang, 2008-12-15: 08:39:00

lovely visual - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-15: 11:41:00

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Slantaflaws

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: slant-a-flaws

Sentence: Finding a tree without slantaflaws, one that is perfect and straight, is hard when so many need slantabras to keep them from falling prostrate. We need to find one with a slantaclause -- one that comes with a guarantee that if our tree gets the slantablahs we can come and exchange it for free.

Etymology: slant: incline or bend from a vertical position + flaw: an imperfection

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Slantacaused

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /slahn'-tuh-kawzd/

Sentence: The Christmas tree was hopelessly slantacaused, looking like it was about to fallalalala, but we soon had bigger problems to worry about when Uncle Frank suddenly swooned, hiccupped, and dropped like a missletoe, cracking his Eggnoggin on the mantel.

Etymology: slant - at an oblique angle; aslant (from Middle English, slenten) + Santa-claus (from Dutch, Sinterklaas) + cause[d] - the reason for a condition or result (from Latin, causa)

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COMMENTS:

Perhaps Uncle Frank, after the knock on his 'eggnoggin' will get mental blocks for Christmas! Good word and, as always, thorough etymology! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 05:06:00

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Pissedmas

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: piss d niss

Sentence: he was on the pissedness diet. driink everything. Eat only solpadeine.

Etymology: christmas, pissed

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Tipsytree

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: tip - see - tree

Sentence: Marge was not sure if it was because she had been drinking for several hours or whether the tree Scott had brought home was actually leaning. The eggnog had certainly gone to her head but she kept thinking they were going to have a tipsytree this year.

Etymology: Tips (leans or topples)and Tipsy (unstable and prone to tip as if intoxicated) + Tree

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Holidaze

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (n.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (v. intr.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (adj.)hŏl'ĭ-dāzd'

Sentence: My Uncle Arlen spends most every Christmas holidazed on cheap wine and a lifetime of regret.

Etymology: holi[day] + daze(d)

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COMMENTS:

I know this was an obvious one, but I couldn't resist. - milorush, 2007-12-10: 13:47:00

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Cheerlapidated

Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: cheer lappy dated

Sentence: Try as they might, Jenny and James could not get the old tree to stand upright. It had seen them through many a festive season, but it was time to retire the cheerlapidated old thing.

Etymology: Cheer: as in, Christmas Cheer. Delapidated: run down, worn out, etc.

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COMMENTS:

Beauty Newk. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:07:00

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Treerectiledysfunkshun

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Tree-Rec-Tile-DIS-FUNK-SHUN

Sentence: The poor sap had a it bad. The treerectiledysfunkshun had developed over night and left us all feeling a bit droopy.

Etymology: Erection and Viagara and Limpy Poppa

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COMMENTS:

Dude, mine was SOOOO first! - idavecook, 2007-12-10: 18:13:00

Hehe! Guess you just Christmissed it! Hope ya don't feel like a recycled fruitcake. Merry everything idave! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:35:00

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James