Verboticisms

Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: mal-conn-ten-dant

Sentence: I am in a hurry but the staff in this shop are all such malcontendants there is no one who will serve me.

Etymology: Combination of malcontent and attendant. First used by Mark Twain to describe a particularly slovenly, family-run restaurant he visited in Mississippi. The restaurant gained notoriety and indeed some short lived success until it was forcibly closed by the owners who had a sense of humour failure when even physical abuse of the clientele wasn't enough to deter the hordes of malcontent-watchers.

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COMMENTS:

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:40:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: närsəssərvis

Sentence: Meme just knew that some day soon she would be discovered by a Hollywood Producer or modeling agent. The only reason she was working at the Mall was because her mom just didn't understand how much money she needed for her wardrobe and makeup and, of course, for the exposure. As she provided narcisservice to her customers, and practiced her texting skills, she wondered why it was taking so long to become famous.

Etymology: narcissist (extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration) + service (the action of helping or doing work for someone)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: snub skrybe

Sentence: "It's no wonder people shoplift", Betty thought as she waited yet again at Customer Service to make a payment on her layaway. The cashier was going to snubscribe her again because he was too busy yakking on his cellphone on a social call. Fed up, she went to the Store Manager and told him loudly that the hardest part about shopping there was the fact that you had to wait endlessly for them to take your money. The Store Manager would have responded to her sooner, but he was too busy texting someone...

Etymology: Snub (refuse to acknowledge;ignore) & Subscribe (receive or obtain by regular payment;pay (an amount of money) as a contribution to a charity or service, especially at regular intervals)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: cus/tum/ur/swurv/iss

Sentence: Customerswervice was so bad that I couldn't even make eye contact with the cashier let alone pay for my purchases.

Etymology: customer service + swerve

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COMMENTS:

They also swerve who only fail to wait on us. Good one. - Mustang, 2008-05-13: 20:24:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nahr-suh-sis-tuhnt

Sentence: Jane stopped to pick up a snack at the convenience store and found that the term was an oxymoron. The narcissistant was also some kind of moron. His mother must have told him he was the sun and that all the planets revolved around him. His attitude was like, "wait your turn Uranus".

Etymology: narcissist (a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish)+ assistant (a person who assists or gives aid and support; helper)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Vecks-kewz-amee

Sentence: Im really fed up with those vexqueuesamees, every time I go into that shop I have to wait ages in the queue whilst those girls chat away. Im sure I must know their business more than they do by now!

Etymology: Vex (perturbed,put out) Queues(a long line of customers waiting to be served) =Vexqueuesamee(excuse me)

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:41:00

Vexcellent vord! - Nosila, 2008-05-13: 23:21:00

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: dĭ-sō'shē-ĭt

Sentence: After she made her way back to the electronics department, having to make her way past one dissociate after another who, apparently oblivious to her existence or that of any other customer, had no apparent function beyond taking up aisle space, the blue-smocked critters became scarce. When she finally found one and asked where she could find an adapter to use her ipod with her home stereo, the dull-eyed response was, "that's not my aisle, but if we have 'em they would definitely be in this half of the store."

Etymology: dissociate (-āt'), from the psychological defense mechanism dissociation, whereby an individual compartmentalizes certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and/or memories; term coined by The French psychiatrist Pierre Janet, later expanded on in Jung's theories; associate (-ĭt), term used by a certain (world's largest)retailer as a euphamism for what passes as a sales staff.

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COMMENTS:

Like it! - pieceof314, 2008-05-13: 13:29:00

thanks, 314. first time I've tried to give a verbotomy to an existing word. - stache, 2008-05-13: 17:02:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash sneer

Sentence: When George stated on his application as a cashier at WalMart that he loved dealing with the public, he actually meant until he had to help them. He viewed all his transactions as interruptions and he was known by his bosses as a cashsneer. He further added to the popular notion that the hardest part about shopping there was trying to give them your money!

Etymology: Cashier (a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) )& Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls;smile contemptuously)

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COMMENTS:

funny! - splendiction, 2009-06-25: 22:32:00

I think I ran into George at the local toot and moo. Good one! - Mustang, 2009-06-26: 00:30:00

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Created by: tim1998samson

Pronunciation: diminion marsion

Sentence: I had another one of those diminionmartion cash me out today I mean diminion's my favourite store but when a diminionmartion checks me out it's the worst.

Etymology: A mix of diminion and martion.

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COMMENTS:

For those of you who don't know diminion was a grocery store that was recently was taken over by Metro - tim1998samson, 2009-06-29: 08:14:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: cla/sheer

Sentence: Most customer dissatisfaction is caused by confrontational clashiers who hate their jobs and looking for a fight.

Etymology: clash + cashier

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COMMENTS:

which begs the Clash question "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 13:10:00

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