Verboticism: Criticompados
DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.
Voted For: Criticompados
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Culpabiligeek
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek
Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.
Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)
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COMMENTS:
My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00
Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00
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Pogrommer
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: poe grom mer
Sentence: Gerd the Nerd, King of the Keys, WiFi Art Thou was on his usual grumpy morning rounds. It was always demeaning for a man of his superior intellect and obvious supreme being status to have to help the peons in data entry sort their miniscule problems. And so he conducted his morning pogrommer act, successfully designed to terrify and cower. But when he deigned to enter the murky waters of the call centre, he was blinded by the beauty of the end-user. She had long gold plaits and looked so helpless and vulnerable, so he went gently on her. He found himself thinking of her all day and dreamed that night that his Big Fat Geek Wedding would soon be a reality.
Etymology: Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group, in this case, blonde end-users) & Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)
Blamebomb
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: blāmbäm
Sentence: When Jessica emailed a complaint about software developed by her company's software department, someone appeared at her cubicle almost immediately. After a couple of terse questions, he blamebombed her and huffed his way back to wherever it is these people hide out.
Etymology: blame (assign responsibility for a fault or wrong) + bomb (attack)
Progcastigator
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: prog/cass/ti/gay/tor
Sentence: Many software developers are progcastigators who put off reworking their programs and instead berate users.
Etymology: programmer + castigate (reprimand, berate) + procrastinator
Computerpogrommer
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: com pew ter po grom mer
Sentence: Java a minute to hear about the Computerpogrommer in our office? His name is Seymour Fawltz and his Modem Operandii is to belittle you in front of your peers and Excel at making you feel like an idiot about your inferior computer skills. It was by sheer chance that someone found out he had entered the local Click&Drag Queen Contest, under the name Ana Log Macintosh, a Domainatrix. Now he knows we know his secret, so his bark is not worse than his byte. We found his Encryptionite!
Etymology: Computer Progammer & Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group (in this case, non-Geeks)
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COMMENTS:
LOL! A great creation. - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:52:00
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Softwarespecialass
Created by: splendiction
Pronunciation: soft ware spesh ial ass
Sentence: Hank's new income tax software’s many glitches prompted him to call technical support. However, the softwarespecialass maintained his program was flawless. He suggested Hank give the software another try while completing another random task, such as juggling oranges or counting sheep.
Etymology: From software specialist and ass.
Proctechnalgia
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: PROK-tek-nel-juh
Sentence: Bob, aka Cranston, was a technillogicrat whose proctechnalgia was the bane of all IT end-users.
Etymology: Blend of TECHNOLOGY, PROgram & PROCTALGIA:a pain in the ass.
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COMMENTS:
Blend of TECHNOLOGY & PROCTALGIA:a pain in the ass. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-14: 17:41:00
Oops! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-14: 17:42:00
funny - you must have put this in very late - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 21:04:00
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Virtualtercation
Created by: bookowl
Pronunciation: vur/tu/al/tur/cay/shun
Sentence: I had a virtualtercation with IT today.
Etymology: virtual + altercation
Developastard
Created by: scissorlips
Pronunciation: duh-vel-op-AHS-turd
Sentence: "It's crashing when I hit the spacebar!", screamed Ms. Yewser. "That's probably because you've damaged my software by mashing the return button one too many times!" was Arman Gheddon's reply. Being a developastard of considerably little patience, Arman then simply left her office.
Etymology: developer: as in, software developer + bastard: insulting term of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.