Verboticism: Felonelevate
DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.
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Felonelevate
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Castivacation
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: cast/i/va/ca/tion
Sentence: While driving totally blind drunk, Joe hit and killed a senior citizen when he ran a red light. The judge's sentence was, to say the least, a castivacation: four consecutive weekends under house arrest in his own home.
Etymology: CASTIVACATION - noun - from CASTIGATION (to punish in order to correct) + VACATION (a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess, or holiday)
Perverdict
Created by: rombus
Pronunciation: pur - vur - dikt
Sentence: Judge Malloy handed down a perverdict in the swindling case against Margorie Vandenspit. After stealing millions of dollars from unsuspecting victims of phishing schemes; stealing their identities and sending them fishheads in the mail, Marjorie got off with community service. If this wasn't a case of perverdict justice, then I have lost more than my sense of humor.
Etymology: preverted and verdict -- perverted: distorted or deviating from what is usually considered to be normal or correct -- verdict: A decision on an issue of fact in a civil or criminal case or an inquest
Misdemeanie
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: miss-de-mean-ee
Sentence: Parker copped a misdemeanie for parking his car in a no standing zone for 5 minutes. His punishment was to stand in the said zone for 3 days with no sleep in the pouring rain.
Etymology: misdemeanour (minor infringement) + meanie (a brute or bully)
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COMMENTS:
very clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 15:01:00
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Missedemeanour
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: mist de meen er
Sentence: Judge M. Paired often assigned bizarre sentences that were not suited to the crime or precedent. In fact his missedemeanour way of paying back criminals allowed the worst to escape justice and the most innocent to face the music. Sadly, many of his peers do the same every day...
Etymology: Missed (got wrong; not caught with the senses or the mind) & Misdemeanour (a crime less serious than a felony)
Payadox
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: pay a dox
Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!
Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)
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COMMENTS:
so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00
Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00
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Funishment
Created by: Ratty
Pronunciation: f-UN-ish-ment
Sentence: Barry's drunk mother (who had a high well-paid job in court) simply had to do something as a punishment after Barry chopped both her arms off. When Barry got a final sentence of doing community service for the most ridiculously generous rich old lady, his mother realized her rather regretful punishment was in fact a funishment.
Etymology: fun, punishment
Nonsentence
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: nohn sen tensss
Sentence: the judge told the pervert that he would have to wash miss jones' underwear for a year. complete and utter nonsentence
Etymology: sentence, nonsense
Dracomicarceration
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: dra-COMIC-are-sur-AY-shun (DRACOMICARCERATE)
Sentence: Judge Mentill-Case was not elected. He was a political apointee who wielded his gavel with wild abandon. Ever since his pet pug was flattened by a Lexus, he delighted in enforcing the hamlet's no-cell-phone driving ordinance. His punishment for a first offender was removal of all glass on the vehicle. Second offense entailed driving with snow chains on all four tires for a year. Third offense was DRACOMICARCERATION-confinement to a Volkswagon Beetle with the doors welded shut. The Judge's career ended when he crashed into a Starbuck's while texting.
Etymology: DRAconic+COMIc+inCARCERATION= DRACOMICARCRATION.....DRACONIC:of, relating to, or characteristic of Draco or the severe code of laws held to have been framed by him; Latin Dracon-, Draco, from Greek Drakōn Draco (Athenian lawgiver).....COMIC: causing laughter or amusement, funny, of, relating to, or marked by comedy; Latin comicus, from Greek kōmikos, from kōmos revel(1576).....INCARCERATE: to subject to confinement, to put in prison, to punish; Latin incarceratus, past participle of incarcerare, from in- + carcer prison Date: 1560,
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COMMENTS:
Here come da Judge...cute story. It took a latte to get rid of that judge! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:42:00
Great triple word play! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:49:00
Thanks, kids! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 20:46:00
THE BEARS' "CAR CAUGHT FIRE" WINS ALBUM OF THE YEAR AT THE CINCINNATI ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS.
On November 26, 2001, just 4 years after being inducted into CEA's Hall of Fame, the Bears won Album Of The Year for Car Caught Fire. Rob Fetters and Bob Nyswonger accepted the award shortly after Rob's solo performance of the Bears' "As You Are". - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:39:00
www.thebearsmusic.com - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:40:00
LIVE IT or LIVE WITH IT! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 23:55:00
She was sick and tired of country life.
A little country home,
A little country folk,
Made her blood run cold.
Now her mother pines her heart away,
Looking for her child in the big black smoke,
In the big black smoke.
Frailest, purest girl the world has seen,
According to her Ma, according to her Pa,
And everybody said,
That she knew no sin and did no wrong,
Till she walked the streets of the big black smoke,
Of the big black smoke.
Well, she slept in caffs and coffee bars and bowling alleys,
And every penny she had
Was spent on purple hearts and cigarettes.
She took all her pretty coloured clothes,
And ran away from home
And the boy next door,
For a boy named Joe.
And he took her money for the rent
And tried to drag her down in the big black smoke,
In the big black smoke.
In the big black smoke.
In the big black smoke. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:39:00
Sorry about that. I got carried away. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:41:00
I'd like to thank the JAMES GANG for providing a very entertaining outlet for the mad ramblings of very talented people.. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:48:00
Hear, Hear, metro! It's great to tell people you are in a gang! Respect! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:26:00
The creams rises to the TOP :) You're so creative Metrohumanx! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:05:00
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Ojsimpsoned
Created by: whazat29
Pronunciation: o.j. simpsoned
Sentence: o my gosh, I was so o.j. simpsoned for dating becky's mom.
Etymology: o.j. simpson
