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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Verboticisms

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Tannenbum

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: taninbəm

Sentence: No matter what it looks like in the lot, no matter how many ways he inspects them, Charlie*s yearly choice of a Christmas tree turns out to be a tannenbum slouching in the corner like an elf who*s had too much egg nog. Even the ornaments seem to droop on the tree rather than hang proudly.

Etymology: tannenbaum (German for fir tree/Christmas tree) + bum (a lazy or worthless person)

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Christipsy

Created by: flavord

Pronunciation: Chris-tipsee

Sentence: I can't get this tree to stay up. It's thin, I've had too much rum, and we're both Christipsy.

Etymology: Christmas/tipsy (drunk, falling over)

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COMMENTS:

lilts right over the tongue and the meaning is clear! - silveryaspen, 2007-12-13: 14:39:00

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Scrackerwhiff

Carla

Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: skrA-kuh-wif

Sentence: No matter how much Anne tried, she could not make the scrackerwhiff angel sit straight atop the tree. Eventually Anne gave up and turned to the sherry, in an attempt to get scrackerwhiffy herself.

Etymology: Cracker + Skew-whiff

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Chrisdisfunction

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kriss sidd funk shun

Sentence: It was a case of "hohoho to nohoho as the tree suffered from the annual bout of Chrisdisfunction, due to the self inoculation by the erector against the cold by hipflask as he queued in the snow for the aforementioned tree.

Etymology: christmas, disfunction

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Tiltitis

Created by: mamamia

Pronunciation: til-ti-tis

Sentence: After countless attempts to get the xmas tree to stand upright, Kevin then realized he had been sold a tree that suffered from tiltitis.

Etymology: tilt-derived from the word tilt(having its original meaning) and itis usually you can find at the end of certain medical conditions.

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COMMENTS:

Damn, i hope this makes it to the b! - mamamia, 2008-12-15: 19:36:00

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Leanament

Created by: SlappyDaClown

Pronunciation: Lean-a-ment

Sentence: Did that leanament ever stand up or did you buy it that way ?

Etymology: Used by Pope Ileaneaus when refering to the 1st Nativity scene which contained a goat that refused to cooperate.

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Floornament

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: flor/na/ment

Sentence: When we headed off to bed Christmas Eve our beautiful woodland tree was bedecked in the finest glass ornaments. Alas, Christmas morning the tree was bare and the carpet was littered with broken floornaments.

Etymology: ornament + floor

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COMMENTS:

Excellent word with wider application! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 17:48:00

Love it Jabber! - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 19:28:00

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Yuletiedoneon

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: YOOL TIDE wun on

Sentence: Apparently for Hannah Kah, the Christmas party had already started well before the other guests had even arrived. She had really yuletiedoneon and was wandering through the neighborhood loudly singing Christmas carols, even though she's Jewish! I guess one could say she really had the Christmas spirits....

Etymology: Yuletide + tie one on (to drink with the intention of becoming intoxicated)

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COMMENTS:

cute - Nosila, 2009-12-18: 01:19:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James