Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Computerpogrommer
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: com pew ter po grom mer
Sentence: Java a minute to hear about the Computerpogrommer in our office? His name is Seymour Fawltz and his Modem Operandii is to belittle you in front of your peers and Excel at making you feel like an idiot about your inferior computer skills. It was by sheer chance that someone found out he had entered the local Click&Drag Queen Contest, under the name Ana Log Macintosh, a Domainatrix. Now he knows we know his secret, so his bark is not worse than his byte. We found his Encryptionite!
Etymology: Computer Progammer & Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group (in this case, non-Geeks)
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COMMENTS:
LOL! A great creation. - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:52:00
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Displaim
Created by: stache
Pronunciation: dĭ-splām'
Sentence: "Clearly user error." Gaylord concluded. "You simply can't correctly interface with the connection-oriented data access arrangement..." "Don't displaim me," Marta interrupted, "I only hit 'start' and the thing locked up."
Etymology: displacement, psychological defense mechanism that transfers affect or reaction from the original object to some more acceptable one; display, to output (data) on a CRT or other screen, or, in non-computer usage, to reveal or betray; aim, to intend or direct for a particular effect or purpose.
Culpabiligeek
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek
Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.
Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)
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COMMENTS:
My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00
Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00
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Technoway
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: tek-no-way
Sentence: The office staff all called Hubert the tech 'technoway' for the way he tried to dismiss just about every service call by saying 'no way is this a computer error, it's operator error'.
Etymology: blend of technician and the phrase 'no way'
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COMMENTS:
Nice combo! - artr, 2009-06-26: 10:58:00
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Pogrommer
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: poe grom mer
Sentence: Gerd the Nerd, King of the Keys, WiFi Art Thou was on his usual grumpy morning rounds. It was always demeaning for a man of his superior intellect and obvious supreme being status to have to help the peons in data entry sort their miniscule problems. And so he conducted his morning pogrommer act, successfully designed to terrify and cower. But when he deigned to enter the murky waters of the call centre, he was blinded by the beauty of the end-user. She had long gold plaits and looked so helpless and vulnerable, so he went gently on her. He found himself thinking of her all day and dreamed that night that his Big Fat Geek Wedding would soon be a reality.
Etymology: Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group, in this case, blonde end-users) & Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)
Custoculpate
Created by: rebelvin
Pronunciation: CUSTOmer+CULPable+ATE
Sentence: His first reaction to any reported application problem is to custoculpate, not wanting to think the code could be incorrect, even when that has proven to be the case over and over.
Etymology: CUSTOmer+CULPable+ATE
Dissinformation
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: disinfərmāshən
Sentence: Lawrence is quite sure of his programming skills. When something doesn’t work the way he expects, he is preemptively sure that it is caused by user error. He has been known to spread dissinformation, belittling anyone who would dare question his skills.
Etymology: diss (act or speak in a disrespectful way toward)+ misinformation (false or inaccurate information, esp. that which is deliberately intended to deceive)
Techsuppose
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: tek-sup-pose
Sentence: Jean hated to call Techsuppose. Not only would it take half the day to reach someone, but the smarmy voice on the other end of the phone assumed that she was an imbecile and asked the same stupid questions, "Is it plugged in?" "Did you restart it?" Eventually, she discovered that someone neglected to use the "Mother-May-I" command during set-up and now she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon downloading various patches, drivers, upgrades and fixes. Another day sacrificed to the tyrannical techgods.
Etymology: (play on techsupport) Suppose: to believe, especially on uncertain or tentative grounds; to consider as probable or likely
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COMMENTS:
So true! - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:53:00
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Progcastigator
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: prog/cass/ti/gay/tor
Sentence: Many software developers are progcastigators who put off reworking their programs and instead berate users.
Etymology: programmer + castigate (reprimand, berate) + procrastinator
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James
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