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'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Verboticisms

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Roboflage

Created by: administraitor

Pronunciation: row-bow-flaj

Sentence: Howard found that measuring floors desks and windows allowed him to prowl the office at will, his roboflage consisting of a tape and clipboard.

Etymology: robot (worker) + camouflage

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Disworkillusionment

Created by: keeno82uk

Pronunciation: dis-work-illusion-ment

Sentence: "that guy is so practicing disworkillusionment, as he always carries around that file"

Etymology: Meaning the illusion of work by cloaking your lack of said work using props, i.e folder, laptop

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Documentality

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dok u men tal it ee

Sentence: Pierre's ruse was to use his documentality to elude real work. He would carry any official-looking folder or paper to make it look like he was on his way to a very important meeting. In fact, he remembered the trick his English classes used about the different words "stationary & stationery". The "ar" one stood for At Rest, as in stationary machinery and the other "er" one stood for the last 2 letters in paper...or in his case "Eternally Roving".

Etymology: Document (writing that provides information (especially information of an official nature); anything serving as a representation of a person's thinking by means of symbolic marks) & Mentality (a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations; mental ability)

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Phantofiles

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: fan/toe/files

Sentence: Joe had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's been working on six different projects today and it's only noon." Joe's phantofiles put him in line for a raise.

Etymology: PHANTOFILES - noun - from PHANTOM (an appearance, or illusion without material substance) + FILES (a container, or folder for keeping papers in order)

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COMMENTS:

I worked with a guy that did that...he got away with it until his new female boss figured him out and gave him the boot! - Nosila, 2008-08-06: 00:50:00

pesty female bosses! - scrabbelicious, 2008-08-06: 06:43:00

metrohumanx What datum lurks in the hearts of men?Only the Phantofile knows. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 11:25:00

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Fileusion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Pendupe

sanssouci

Created by: sanssouci

Pronunciation: pen doop

Sentence: "I think I am going to pendupe for a while, I can't be botherd to do anymore work today but don't want Mr Stone to think I'm not pulling my weight in the office."

Etymology: pen - any of various instruments for writing or drawing with ink or a similar substance. A pen is a writing implement," c.1300, from O.Fr. penne "quill pen, feather," dupe - to make a dupe of; deceive; delude; trick. Dupe orriginates from 1680s, from Fr. dupe "deceived person," from M.Fr. duppe (early 15c.), thieves' jargon, probably from phrase de huppe "of the hoopoe," an extravagantly crested and reputedly stupid bird.

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Portfonio

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pôrtˈfōnēˌō

Sentence: Gerry has all the correct business props, the pinstripe suit, the proper tie, the Blackberry. He is never seen without his portfolio. The truth; the suit is a cheap knock-off; the tie, a clip-on; Blackberry, a much too expensive cell phone and the portfolio, a portfonio that holds nothing more than his lunch.

Etymology: portfolio (a large, thin, flat case for loose sheets of paper such as drawings or maps) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Assumetote

Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: as OOM tot

Sentence: Like a vampire hunter to the cross, he lept across his cubicle and grabbed a stack of printed material on company letterhead as his boss approached; his assumetote being just enough of a ruse to confuse his superior for perhaps another week. His smokescreen-jobsaver spreadsheet was already drawing suspicion as to exactly how much time he spent playing internet word games!

Etymology: assume + tote + asymptote assume (people assume you are working ) + tote (to carry) + asymptote (to infinitely approach something (work))

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COMMENTS:

yeah, like people play internet word games at work! implausible. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:40:00

Can I have a copy of that spreadsheet? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 13:52:00

you come up with very creative sentences jadenguy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00

i try. i try. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 17:12:00

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Dosserier

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dosss err eee ay

Sentence: he carried his dosserier with him everywhere, adding different coloured stickies each month or so to keep it looking fresh. He called it his licence to kill....time.

Etymology: dossier, dosser

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COMMENTS:

Hopefully the use of his dosserier won't come back to kick him in the dosserriere. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:48:00

Maybe he carried it in a fanny pack - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:26:00

How cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:36:00

i hate to butt in, but is there no rear end to these pun threads?! - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:41:00

ooh that reminds me - it's lunchtime and now I'm in the moods for buns - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:10:00

oops I meant mood - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:11:00

I'm thinking it would be out-of-line to make a comment about sticky buns, but the air conditioner isn't working in my office today. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 12:36:00

Such a tool would be perfect for hiding the fact that you're just bumming around instead of working your @$$ off. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:05:00

Some might say you should just turn the other cheek, jadenguy, but I'm behind you 100% if you want to get to the bottom of this problem. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:10:00

Rear end to the pun threads? Tush, tush. I've got a haunch we'll be back end the saddle tomorrow. Now, let me hit the can and we can all go grab a Heinie. Fanny that I should put it that way... I've been glute to my seat the hole day. Sorry, that last one was for posteriority. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 14:34:00

OMG Clayton and ErWenn! Too fanny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 14:45:00

I think we should put an ASSterisk beside this definition - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:47:00

i'm sorry if I came off a little anal before, as i didn't mean to be so stern. but i just find puns comical garbage that we'll always keep with us, but like junk in the trunk of your car that you forget about for as long as possible, bodonkadonk on wood. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 16:59:00

LMAO!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 17:46:00

petaj No butts about it, my friend laughed so hard it rectum! - petaj, 2007-06-14: 04:29:00

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Maloprop

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mal-o-prop

Sentence: Eric is so retro, Petra thought. Everytime she saw him cross the office floor on his way from the men's room to his desk, she had to laugh. Oh yeah, he just had to carry those maloprops to show everyone he knew what it was like in the 20th century. It was ludicrous. And, then if you said something, he had such excuses...like he didn't understand there were better ways of doing things.

Etymology: From mal, Latin/Romance languages, for bad or sick + prop for a property used for show. Also a play on the word malapropism, the ludicrous misuse of a word. In this case, the ludicrous misuse of a prop.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-13: 00:01:00
The "S" in Timothy Johnson's GUST stands for Strategy. And strategy is key! Especially if you are trying to get way with doing nothing. Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram and Timothy! ~ James

Rebekah - 2009-11-05: 18:33:00
Protaskinate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-01-07: 00:38:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James