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'Honey? Honey! Can you hear me?'

DEFINITION: n., A slow computer with insufficient memory; also, a slow-thinking husband. v., To take an extraordinarily long time to respond to a relatively simple request.

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Verboticisms

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Computiledysfunction

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: com-pew-tile-dis-funk-shun

Sentence: It may happen to a lot of guys, but Kimberly refused to let ComputileDisfunction stand in her way of a satisfying online social life. "They get old and the spark just isn't there, where it counts, the memory data register." She said as she unpacked her newest computer; "This one will last about a year, I like 'em young." When asked about the prospect of using her new hardware to find a mate, the logic didn't compute: "This is why I don't have a husband. Who needs one?"

Etymology: computile (bend of computer + futile) + dysfunction (not working properly.) Play on "erectile dysfunction"

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Historaeon

Created by: bananabender

Pronunciation: his - tor - EE - on

Sentence: By the time my historaeon computer processes a simple data entry the results have already become ancient history.

Etymology: historian - a writer or compiler of history, + aeon - an age, an infinitely long period

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Calcuwait

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: cal-cyou-wait

Sentence: My computer, my husband, my boss, and my kids, drive me crazy with their calcuwaiting.

Etymology: A play on calculate,you and wait ... calcuwait ... a verb to describe any thing or anyone who is slow to respond!

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Pokeyman

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: po kee man

Sentence: When Polly could no longer wait for her slow computer, she complained to her husband, Paul. He took forever to process her request and so she decided she could not rely on her pokeyman to help her play her Pokémon anytime soon. Polly has now upgraded her computer and her husband.

Etymology: Pokey (slow) & Man (male spose) & Wordplay on Pokémon (Video games series)

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Spousalpause

Created by: bosstown

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Linda stopped asking "Does this dress look alright"? after developing an intolerance for spousalpause.

Etymology:

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Lapsetop

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: laps/top

Sentence: This laspsetop is completely useless. Every time I move the mouse the screen saver comes on.

Etymology: laptop + lapse

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COMMENTS:

I like it! - direwookiee, 2008-01-07: 09:37:00

Very good word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-07: 18:02:00

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Cronstipated

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: kron-sti-pay-tid

Sentence: I guess I added too many bells and whistles to my computer, as it became quite cronstipated upon booting up.

Etymology: cron - A Unix command for scheduling jobs to be executed sometime in the future; constipated

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-07: 12:07:00

great sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-07: 18:13:00

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Nimpcompute

Created by: jrogan

Pronunciation: nim-com-PUTE

Sentence: He was such a nimpcompute that would not respond to non-electronic communications

Etymology: nincompoop + compute

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Ramnoramus

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ram - nor - am - uss

Sentence: Elbert was a dull witted ramnoramus and on a par for memory with Esmerelda's ancient computer.

Etymology: RAM (computer memory) and ignoramus.

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Decelermate

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: de sel er mayt

Sentence: Allegra had never quite gotten used to the fact that her hubby, Dell, could decelermate any discussion or activity. He appeared to act and think and speak in slow motion and with age, this lethargy became more noticeable. When she asked him about replacing her very slow old computer, he was actually slower than the computer in responding. It is little wonder why he was dropped off at the recycling centre with all the other useless equipment.

Etymology: Decelerate (lose velocity; move more slowly) & Mate (spouse, partner in marriage/relationship)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-01-07: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by gemmgemms. Thank you gemmgemms. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-04-02: 00:06:00
Today's definition was suggested by gemmgemms. Thank you gemmgemms. ~ James