Verboticisms

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Miss-cor-tell-lie-za-shun

Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Schemer went to court for his sentencing for committing thousands of felonies and robbing wealthy lil old ladies and retired gentlemen and the rich and infamous. His lawyer Mr. Flippant approached the bench as he stated to the judge that his client's "misscourtalization" was not a just conviction and a true fact that the jury had been too rough on him. So Judge Cramitall over road the jury and ordered defendant Mr. Ponzi Schemer to a lifetime on board a confined luxury yacht out in the Turks & Caicos Islands and to only eat Beluga caviar on toast points and only have Louis Roederer Champagne as his ONLY beverage until...he got sun burned at which time there would be an additional hearing to relocate him.

Etymology: Miss;As in misunderstood. Court;Where you have a legal hearing. A lie;Untruths. Zation;When everything said can and will be twisted around to where it makes no sense and will be used against you...maybe!

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Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: pur - vur - dikt

Sentence: Judge Malloy handed down a perverdict in the swindling case against Margorie Vandenspit. After stealing millions of dollars from unsuspecting victims of phishing schemes; stealing their identities and sending them fishheads in the mail, Marjorie got off with community service. If this wasn't a case of perverdict justice, then I have lost more than my sense of humor.

Etymology: preverted and verdict -- perverted: distorted or deviating from what is usually considered to be normal or correct -- verdict: A decision on an issue of fact in a civil or criminal case or an inquest

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt

Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Winston and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.

Etymology: Blend of 'felon' (person convicted of a felony) and 'elevate' (raise).

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pənishmint

Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.

Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)

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COMMENTS:

OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00

Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fənishmənt

Sentence: When the starlet got caught for the fifth time her funishment was very severe. She was sentenced to 30 days in frizzon — that’s right, she was locked up in a place that didn’t have proper hair products. She could do nothing but throw on a scarf, dark sunglasses and steer clear of places where paparazzi might catch a glimpse.

Etymology: fun (enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure) + punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense)

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COMMENTS:

was just about to write that down :) - galwaywegian, 2010-09-17: 08:16:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mist de meen er

Sentence: Judge M. Paired often assigned bizarre sentences that were not suited to the crime or precedent. In fact his missedemeanour way of paying back criminals allowed the worst to escape justice and the most innocent to face the music. Sadly, many of his peers do the same every day...

Etymology: Missed (got wrong; not caught with the senses or the mind) & Misdemeanour (a crime less serious than a felony)

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Created by: Ratty

Pronunciation: f-UN-ish-ment

Sentence: Barry's drunk mother (who had a high well-paid job in court) simply had to do something as a punishment after Barry chopped both her arms off. When Barry got a final sentence of doing community service for the most ridiculously generous rich old lady, his mother realized her rather regretful punishment was in fact a funishment.

Etymology: fun, punishment

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: in - mate - tear - e - all

Sentence: After Barney jaywalked near the general store, Andy meted out a sentence that was inmaterial to the crime. He threw Barney in the slammer for three days....Barney got to see what it was like being an inmate, except that Aunt Bea brought him supper every evening.

Etymology: Inmate + Imaterial >> Inmate (convict: a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison) Imaterial (extraneous: not pertinent to the matter under consideration)

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COMMENTS:

love the Mayberry reference - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:39:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: pewnee/tiv/dam/aj/es

Sentence: Punytivedamages amounting to a cutback of .025% of the Bank President's bonus for the year seemed unfair to the dispossessed living under the bridge who had been sold useless investments by his bank.

Etymology: puny (feeble, undersized) + punitve damages

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COMMENTS:

It makes you lose interest in banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:44:00

Master of the one letter change to form a perfect verbotomy! Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:11:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt

Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Elmer and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.

Etymology: Blend of felon and elevate.

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