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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Distractigab

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: di-strakt-ih-gab

Sentence: Part of medical training is a day of distractigab techniques, tips for safe topics and appropriate tone of voice. They generally pratice on squirrels and rats.

Etymology: distract + gab (yammer, chat)

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COMMENTS:

Love the word!!! So descriptive. - FayeWord, 2007-10-17: 17:47:00

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Eloquesia

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: ello-QWEE-shuh

Sentence: Dr. Lonnigan's eloquesia wasn't putting Harry at ease. In fact, his muttercal [filtered through medical apparatus] responses were painful to make and - to his ears - unintelligible.

Etymology: Eloqu(ence) + (anesth)esia EDIT: it occured to me that the word Queasy is sort of in there. I know I get a little queasy when the doctor starts talking to me.

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COMMENTS:

Will Doc Lonegan's eloquesia, cause Harry to have alopecia?! Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-16: 23:02:00

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Anestactic

Created by: simoneshin

Pronunciation: an-uhs-tak-tik

Sentence: boy, nurse hilda had some good anestactics while doctor bob gently severed my toe. she kept on talking about that blueberry-lime cheesecake...

Etymology: anesthesia + tactic

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl good one. - mrskellyscl, 2010-02-11: 10:38:00

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Mediblather

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: medi-blathər

Sentence: The treatment was bad enough. The mediblather was about to make him scream. The only thing that was mildly distracting him from the pain was the thought of choking the shallow life out of this jabbermonkey.

Etymology: medical (of or relating to the science of medicine, or to the treatment of illness and injuries) + blather (talk long-windedly without making very much sense)

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Splatterpatter

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur

Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore

Etymology: patter, splatter

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Chatstract

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈtʃætˌstɹækt/

Sentence: At first, I thought she was flirting with me, but it turns out that the proctologist was just chatstracting.

Etymology: from chat + distract

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COMMENTS:

funny! - remistram, 2007-10-16: 10:05:00

ha ha - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

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Ompafone

Created by: BigKP

Pronunciation: Ew-mp-a-fone

Sentence: The doctor continued to make ompafone with me during the procedure.

Etymology: Ompa- funny little people fone- projection

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Chatquilizer

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: chat-kwil-eye-zer

Sentence: she had become quite adept at chatquilizing her patients

Etymology: chat, tranquilizer

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Zitchat

Created by: crmow

Pronunciation: zit-chat

Sentence: Donna scheduled two medical appointments on the same day. At the dermatologist, she zitchatted about the weather. While having her mammogram, she titchatted with the technician about her pets.

Etymology: zit (pimple) + chitchat

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Medirap

Created by: fourgirls

Pronunciation: Medi rap

Sentence: Craig was challenged by the medirap of his dentist. His usual big mouth was frustrated.

Etymology: Medical, rap

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James