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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Snoozeloquate

Created by: pendraghon

Pronunciation: snüz-LO-qwate

Sentence: The dental tech snoozeloquated throughout my cleaning, boring me to tears.

Etymology: snooze (to sleep or nap)origin unknown; Loquate from Loquacious (wordy), Latin loquac-, loquax, from loqui to speak v. snoozeloquate, snoozeloquation, snoozeloquated n. snoozeloquator

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Splatterpatter

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur

Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore

Etymology: patter, splatter

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Obligastory

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: oh/blig/a/storee

Sentence: Every six months I am muzzled and forced to listen to the dentist's obligastory about his three sons - almost as boring as his drill.

Etymology: obligatory + story

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Ompafone

Created by: BigKP

Pronunciation: Ew-mp-a-fone

Sentence: The doctor continued to make ompafone with me during the procedure.

Etymology: Ompa- funny little people fone- projection

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Sedababble

Created by: tdhall56

Pronunciation: SED a bab bul

Sentence: Dr. House failed the class "Sedababble 101" in med school.

Etymology: sed(ative) babble

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Drivelect

Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation: driv-a-leck

Sentence: I sat there helpless, having to listen to my dentist's drivelect for hours!

Etymology:

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Jabjabber

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: jab-jab-bur

Sentence: The only thing worse than the jabjabber that commences when a doctor pokes, prods, or jabs you with an instrument, is the ensuing phybberish you're expected to respond to.

Etymology: jab, jabber

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COMMENTS:

I was expecting some jabbertalky when I saw the definition but I thought the jab would come from Rikbadboyee - good word purple - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 06:00:00

Ha! Jabbertalky was my first word, but I figured I'd leave it to someone else to make that jab first. - purpleartichokes, 2007-10-16: 09:33:00

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Jabwitter

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jabb-wit-er

Sentence: Dr B. Kindly always resorted to the tried and tested method of jabwitter to put his patients at ease while injecting them. He would ask them trivial questions, such as, where they were going for their holiday or what they intended to have for lunch to distract their attention away from the pain. After twenty years in the profession he found this was the best tactic to use on most people.

Etymology: Jab(a hypodermic injection) + Witter(to speak about trivial matters) = Jabwitter

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Eyedoangiveashitchat

Created by: Lolagrrl

Pronunciation: Eye-doan-give-ay-shit-chat

Sentence: The two convention-goers made eyedoangiveashitchat while waiting for the elevator to take them to Karaoke night at the hotel's fireside lounge. Neither were enriched by the experience

Etymology: The name says it all... ;-)

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COMMENTS:

Btw: I consider singing Karaoke at a Hotel lounge to be an intimate, awkward AND painful procedure. ;D - Lolagrrl, 2007-10-18: 15:31:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James