Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.
Verboticisms
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Paintron
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: payn tron
Sentence: Most customers are nice. They are happy you help them, grateful when you go out of your way to serve them. They are true patrons, they pay your wages. Then there is the paintron, he makes you earn your wages and then some. Although he is only one in a hundred, he makes noise and aggravation enough for the other ninety-nine. You may not remember all the nice ones, but you can never forget the bad ones. Thank goodness they are in the minority!
Etymology: Pain (emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid;a bothersome annoying person)& Patron (client, customer)
Whinebuyer
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: whyne by er
Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!
Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)
Bullygoat
Created by: bananabender
Pronunciation: bul / li / gote
Sentence: He ranted and raved about the "faulty" nose-hair clippers, complaining that no matter how many times he used them his hair kept growing back. He's such a bullygoat!
Etymology: Bull**** - nonsense, humbug / bully - a tyrannical blustering ruffian / goat - "get on one's goat" (coll) to annoy, also "act the goat" (coll) to behave foolishly
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COMMENTS:
"Damn Ram" said Nannygoat, "but I love that old Bullygoat! Clever! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-16: 08:03:00
I like it! Seems to me that he very caprickious! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-16: 16:27:00
Hey, that's it. That's what the guy in the picture kinda' looks like — a bleating goat! - Tigger, 2008-01-16: 21:02:00
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Plaguetron
Created by: thegoatisbad
Pronunciation: puh-lay-ge-tron
Sentence: While Zinnia was on vacation, urgent calls were redirected to Kimberly's desk, and Kimberly hated this. Among Zinnia's tasks, she was responsible for dealing with unsatisfied customers, when these unpleased patrons were forwarded to Kimberly, all hell broke loose. "I can only call them plaguetrons" She said, "I had no idea people could be so upset about a sweater. How is it our fault that her daughter can't ever ride a horse?"
Etymology: Plague (scary things that happened in the bible and the 13th century) + Patron (a customer)
Counterattacker
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Cown-ter-at-aker
Sentence: Jerry was used to dealing with awkward customers, but when it came to Mr Pennyworth, the serial counterattacker, he was at a complete loss. Jerry dreaded the moment when he walked through the doors of his hardware shop. He never actually bought anything but he would continually come to the counter with various items and proceed to tell anyone who would listen that the products were inferior. He then ranted on that things were made to a much higher standard in his day and were made to last. Jerry was just grateful that Mr Pennyworth was well known for his rants all over town, and his other customers never took him seriously.
Etymology: Counter(a long flat-topped fitment over which goods are sold to customers) + Attacker(someone who takes agressive action) = Counterattacker
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COMMENTS:
Talk about a need for Counterintelligence! Good Word - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:43:00
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Conshrewmer
Created by: grohldberg12
Pronunciation: (Cun//shroo//mar)
Sentence:
Etymology: Consumer + Shrew
Customonster
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: kəstəmänstər
Sentence: Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again.
Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)
Schmucack
Created by: courty3303
Pronunciation: sh-moo-sack
Sentence: I schmucacked that idiot.
Etymology:
Foolabluster
Created by: Redrover
Pronunciation: fool-uh-bluster
Sentence: Mark's earbuds are so small that his customers aren't even aware that he can't hear a single word of their foolablustering.
Etymology: fool= a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense bluster = noisy, empty threats or protests
Cursetommer
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: kurs tom mer
Sentence: He returned the swearword dictionary with plenty of loud cursetommer. "What a cursetommer!" said the courtesy counter lady, "Why he probably wrote that book!"
Etymology: Interplay of curse and customer. Curse having the double meaning of (1)swearing (using bad negative words) or (2) casting a spell, usually an evil one. Customer meaning one who purchases goods or services.
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James